Petitions used to be political tools as a show of strength by the proletariat, signing one’s name to a formal document in protest at, say, a local park being sold off to Barratt Homes. The age of the internet, though, has turned the humble petition into a medium for spoilt children to throw their toys out of the pram.
Do you want a sarcasm font on social media because the concept of the absurd flies over your head? Start a petition! Think that Taco Bell should give a minimum of two hot sauce packets with each meal? Petition away! Have an irrational hated of sporks? This is what petitions were made for! Want your favourite band, S Club 7, to reform? After all, there ain’t no party like an S Club party. You know what to do…
In that vein, Australian gamer Ben Plato has launched a petition for SEGA to release a Limited Edition, HD version of its Dreamcast console, because there is a massive void in the world that only such a box can fill.
“The new console should have a new but similar design, wifi, wireless controllers (4 maximum) 720p or 1080p HD upscaling and HDMI output, internal 500g Hard Drive and a GD-Rom drive,” Plato writes.
“The console should be able to play original Dreamcast GD-Roms and also have the ability to connect online to a Dreamcast Classics Store to purchase and download classic Dreamcast titles in digital form where it can be played directly from the Hard Drive,” he adds.
It should also have a cup holder, a picture of my favourite fictional dog (Snoopy, by the way), and tell me that I’m lovely every 30 minutes. Are you listening, SEGA?
The petition already has 19,273 signatories on Change.org.
“By making the console made to order,” Plato asserts, “there is less risk of financial loss.”
Cue a second petition when SEGA releases its Limited Edition HD Dreamcast with Go-Faster Stripes for £2,000 in order to claw back the R&D costs of producing such a console for only 20,000 people.